Dear Single and searching brothers! Get real!

This was a woman’s responds to blog post titled “The World from the view of a Single Brother” by br.Haytham on muslimmatters.org . She is actually a mother in her early forties and a into a matchmaking business with her husband.

Dear  & all the single brothers , LISTEN UP!
SubhanAllah, may I ask are you looking for a wife or a car? Reading your post was amusing & angering at the same time.Why? you ask, because I see too many times & believe me I have a fair amount of experience in the matchmaking bussiness,when I come across brothers who are asking us to help them in their wife search I always ready what they’re looking for & for almost half of them I inform my husband that I’m not going to even bother helping.
Reasons: 1. They give specs for age, weight, height, colour & looks. Hello!!! This is a human & not a car you’re buying!! Sorry we don’t have a production factory that can build you a model to suit.
2. Hmm, are you THAT good looking as what you’re asking for? Remember beauty is in the eye of the beholder & will you be voted #1 on the next Top 10 Hunks chart?
3. Do you think YOU have all those qualities that you want in a prospective wife to have? ie. be able to hold an intellectual conversation, attracted to her in ALL aspects & likes what she likes?
4. What if she’s more into deen then you? Are you strong enough to be proud of her for it & support her in it?
5. She must be ‘westernised with traditional values’. What does this mean? I have an idea but could be wrong, so plz clarify.
6. Plz brs. do realise that not ALL sisters love to cook even though their mothers might be the best at it. So don’t expect a Martha Stewart in the kitchen unless you’re chef Ramsay
7. Support goes both ways. It’s not a one way street especially if she’s suppose to be some what westenised.
8.Jealousy goes both ways also.
9. Will she be given the same courtesy of not having you angry with her when her views are different from yours during an interlectual conversation? Most times it’s the other way round.As soon as a wife has a view on anything that is different from the husband, if she doesn’t shush up then it leads to an argument = he won’t speak to her for the night or more .
As for humor not all men have them. Sorry to say.
Also how many bros. are willing ot give up their time playing xbox & PSP & hanging out with their Bros. for their wives?
I know of too many bros. whose young wives are waiting for them at home to be with the husbands & talk but he doesn’t come home until fajr. All because they had a game going on & forgot he’ld be back in an hr. Men expect the wives to stop their social life to an extent & give up hanging with their freinds for the most part but don’t reciprocate.
Also don’t look for a sister btwn 16 & 23 when you’re hitting 30. Besides the HUGE age gap generally nowadays it doesn’t work out & there are very different mentalities & expectations. She wants to be romanced & he wants a more mature thinking woman.

So on behalf of all the sisters who only ask for a decent, hard working , caring & understanding man. I ask the single brothers to get back to reality!!!
UmmZainab

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