Message To Muslim Youth

This pointers are  quite apt . Truly a thoughtful Message To Muslim Youth esp those still in school.

May Allah Almighty (God) bless all of you with health and happiness all
the time all the year round, this year and the next, and forever. Since
you are the youth of Islam, and the future of Islam rest’s on your
shoulders, let me tell you the following :

1. Be kind to your parents, if they are alive. Treat them with kindness
and love.

2. Be yourself. Do not try to be somebody else.

3. Manage your time properly. Keep an account of time; how much you
spend on studies, how much talking with loved ones, how much watching
TV, how much on other

entertainment etc? I am not saying that you should not watch TV or go
to a movie. What I am saying is that you should always take stock of
time.

4. Your first priority should be your studies. You must try to excel in
your studies. Whatever your potential, you must try to develop it
fully.

5. When you study a book, be critical. Always generate plenty of
questions. If you will not question, then chances are that you may not
understand it completely.

6. Try to be creative. How to be creative? Well there are many ways to
be creative. Probably everyone has a unique approach. But there are
some common guidelines one can use. When you get stuck on a problem,
let your mind think and wonder. Do not open the book and see what the
solution is. Let your mind get frustrated.

Always resist the tendency of quick results. Give your mind a chance to
succeed on its own. You will realize soon that your creative energy
will start flowing. When the mind is deprived of easy means and it is
not satisfied with present things, it tries to create ingenious means
by being creative. All the inventions has been invented in that way.

7. So far I did not talk about the Quran. There is a reason for that. I
want you to develop critical thinking ability in your studies first: in
science, mathematics, computers, and economics, whatever you have
chosen. If you cannot develop this ability most probably you would not
understand the Quran. Also, understanding of the Quran is a long and
hard and a life long process. And it requires lot of patience and
perseverance plus it demands sacrifice. Therefore, you should first try
to take few important verses of the Quran (the ones dealing with human
relationships and character building) and try to integrate them in your
life and studies. Of course it will be very hard and there will be lot
of temptations to skirt. But try to avoid them. But keep in mind that
we are human beings. We make mistakes. So, don’t feel too bad or don’t
be too hard on yourself if you make mistakes. Just make sure that next
time you must be careful.

8. Do not take advantage of others and do not let others take advantage
of you. This is easier said than done, especially for the latter part.
But always remember Hazrat Umar’s saying: A momin is one who not only
does not deceive anyone but does not get deceived as well. The downfall
of Muslims is in major part due to the fact that that they have not
practiced this saying of Khalifa Umar. They are so easily conned,
cheated, and taken advantage of when they are in strong position. When
they are weak and vulnerable no one cares for them and everyone kicks
them around. What you see now a days is the result of that. So, always
keep this saying of Hazrat Umar in mind. But remember, as I said, it is
very difficult but with experience you will learn – if you are
sincere.

9. In relation to the above, let me also mention that from among
Muslims there are con artists selling Islam in the name of serving
Islam. They are hunting for Muslim youth. Do not fall prey to their
sweet talks. Keep your mind’s eyes open and apply Hazrat Umar’s
principle. Do not ever underestimate your own intelligence.

10. Whatever is happening in the World right now in general, do not
worry too much about them yourselves. Let us, (the older generation)
worry about it. You should remain focused on your studies and to become
economically independent and stable. How can you help others if you
cannot help yourself? That should be enough worry for you if your goal
is to be the best.

11. When you have accomplished that then your cumulative weight of
knowledge and expertise and the strength of character will create
miracles that you at this time cannot imagine. Then a new world of
Islam will rise up on your shoulders. An Islam, which will have dignity
and power, based on the strength of knowledge and character rather than
the current Islam that is based on customs, rituals, and belief in
miracles resulting in suffering and humiliations of Muslims throughout
the world.

These are some of my thoughts emanating from the depth of my heart. I
hope like wise that it penetrates the bottom of your hearts and
become’s the driving force in your lives. I hope this serves as a
catalyst to change your lives for the better. Let the youth of Islam
show to the world what Islam really is, not what Islam has been
made out to be. May Allah Almighty give you the strength and the
necessary courage to carry out this important mission.

SOURCE: http://my.opera.com/Quran/blog/index.dml/tag/Message%20To%20Muslim%20Youth

THE POWER OF AYAT-UL-KURSI

It was reported in a local paper in Rochdale (A town, northeast of Manchester), of a young woman who was raped in a small dark alley (a narrow passage between buildings) one evening.

On a separate evening around the same time, a young Muslim girl was walking home from college. Aware that it was getting dark fast, she wanted to get home as soon as possible, so her mother would not be worrying about her.
…
The young Muslim girl faced a dilemma. Take the short-cut down the same alleyway to avoid getting home after dark, or to take the longer route and have her mother worrying herself sick about her daughter’s safety.

Conscious of the time, she takes the alleyway. While the girl is walking, she sees a rather sinister and dark figure of a man walking towards her from the other end. As her pace quickens, she begins to read Ayat-ul-kursi for her safety.
The man, he makes eye contact but carries on walking.

When the young Muslim girl reaches home she tells her family about this sinister looking man. They advise her to contact the police, after having read the newspaper article some time before. When she contacts the police they ask her to give a physical description of the man and it matches the description the rape victim had given.

Some days later the young Muslim girl receives a phone call from the police, asking her if she would come down to the police station to identify the man in a line up. Both the rape victim and the Muslim girl pick out the same man.

The police are confused; they ask the rapist that why he attacked one girl and not the other? In reference to the Muslim girl, he replies ‘Why would I attack her, when she was walking with two huge men on either side of her?’

SUBHANALLAH! ALHAMDULILLAH! ALLAHU AKBAR!
by: Being a Muslim its our responsibility to spread the message of Islam……

SHARED BY: Damilola Bint Ishie

‘They have taken away all rewards”

 

“O, Prophet of Allah! The rich among us have taken away all the rewards,” complained the poor Companions. “They pray as we pray, they fast as we fast, but they also give wealth in charity (while we have no wealth to spend).” (Refer Imam Nawawi’s 40 Hadith for the full narration.)

THE poor among the Ummah deserve a special mention because they are more often than not overlooked, their interests disregarded and their voices ignored. Throughout human history, they have always been the first to believe in the Messengers of Allah, and they will enter Jannah 500 years before everyone else.

During Ramadan last year, at the initiative of a friend, we stood at a traffic signal giving away dates, water and laban just before Iftar time for commuting people who may not have a chance otherwise to break their fast with food. We distributed all the food packs without realizing we had kept none for ourselves, which left us with no other option than breaking our fast at a masjid nearby. The adhan was called while we were heading to the masjid.

We joined the “banquet” of a people who would seldom – if ever – join ours. They were those whose names would never find place in the sprawling invitations we give out for our lavish feasts. Yes, they were all there – the African children and the Asian laborers.

Yet they welcomed us with a smile and made space for us. They shared their Iftar, which was no more than some dates, a piece of bread that they broke into half for us, and some drinks. Being used to excess, we couldn’t imagine how the already small meal would be sufficient for them if they divided between us.
The African children, stereotyped for crimes and what not, were wonderful. A boy turned to me and passed on his can of soft drink. What should I do? I refused. “Children they are after all, who not just love, but crave for sweet drinks,” I thought. He pushed the can towards me and gestured he would share his friend’s.

These are people who we don’t even say our salaams to. The Black women scavengers are seen all around the country. They stop with their trolleys and children at the time of Salah and pray on pavements. Nevertheless, we pass them by as if they don’t exist, as if they are excluded from the obligation of saying salaams to our fellow Muslims.

How much did I learn from that incident? I don’t know. Which lesson was the most important – being content with little; giving preference to others over ourselves; or genuine hospitality? I don’t know. I was reminded of a narration in Al–Bukhari: A man came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and said, “Poverty has struck me.”

The Prophet asked his wives if they had anything to feed the man. They had none. So an Ansari man came forward to host the man. He took him home and told his wife, “Entertain the guest of Allah’s Messenger generously.” She said, “By Allah! We have nothing except the meal for my children.” He replied, “Put your children to sleep if they ask for supper. Turn off the lamps. We go to bed hungry tonight.” The lights were put off so the guest wouldn’t know the hosts had nothing to eat, but were merely pretending to eat in their empty plates. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said the next morning that Allah “laughed at the action of so-and-so and his wife” and then revealed the verse, “and they give them preference over themselves even though they were in need of that.” (Qur’an, 59:9)

Life carried on and the incident was soon buried in the sands of time till something similar took place this Ramadan. This time we were in the Prophet’s Mosque, waiting for the time of Iftar. As is the usual practice, locals of Madina compete with each other to serve the fasting people. The sufra was spread early, and the people were taking their spots – the places from where they would serve.

The hosts of the sufra where I was seated were a father and four sons, the eldest of whom looked no more than twelve. As yoghurt, bread, dates and water were being dished out, one of the boys would stand by the passageway inviting the influx of worshipers to break the fast at his sufra. He had many competitors to worry about. When people walked past him without paying any attention, he started to cling on to their arms with his tiny hands, pleading them to be his guests.

What desire to serve! How could any number of words describe that sight, or describe the emotions that would erupt from such a sight?
My hosts did not appear rich. Their clothes were simple. The father’s Thobe was, according to the standards of elite, dirty. The family appeared to be even larger, and their income modest. Yet they were here spending their valuable money to feed others, so they could please their Lord and earn some reward.
There we were, sitting with fine, pressed clothes, eating shamelessly, and being pleased with the “how–good–we–are” thought. Such incidents really show who the real miskeen are. We have built up fortunes of kings, but give charity less than a pauper would. The truly rich are not those who have more cash, they are those who have big hearts filled with lots of generosity.

With all the education, culture and enlightenment, if we have not come up to the level of underprivileged Muslims in character then there’s some fundamental flaw in the methodology of our learning.

If the Prophet (peace be upon him) were alive today, the rich would really be complaining, “O, Prophet of Allah! The poor among us have taken away all the rewards!”

As published in the Saudi Gazette by Faraz Omar (Editor Saudi Gazette)

Source: http://muslimmatters.org/2009/11/24/%E2%80%98they-have-taken-away-all-rewards%E2%80%99/

Establishing an Islamic Family

“And Allah has made for you from your homes a place of rest” [Soorah an-Nahl (24): 80]

Allah mentions His complete favor upon His slaves from what He has created for them in regards to their houses being places of tranquility. They are places of refuge, screening and of benefit from all aspects.

A house for us is a place of eating, marriage, sleeping and rest. A place of privacy, meeting one’s wife and children, a place to safeguard oneself. It is a place of security from evil and protection from the people.

Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said: “Safety for a man in times of tribulations is to stay in his home.” Hasan – Related by Tabaree in al-Aswat from Thawbaan (radhi allahu anhu) and it is also in Saheeh ul-Jaami (3824)

Most importantly, a home is an important means towards building the Muslim community. The society is made up from home and it is the origin. The home is life and the life is society. If the home is strong then the community will be strong in implementing the laws of Allah, resisting the aims of the enemies of Allah, to spread good and to stop evil from penetrating.

What is required is callers who are guides, students of knowledge, sincere mujaahideen, a righteous wife, mothers who can educate etc. to be born out of our Muslim homes and then go into the society in order to reform it.

Hence, if this subject is so important and our homes have evil and large deficiencies, negligence and carelessness thus comes the question: ‘What are the ways in which we can reform our HOMES?’

So, O noble reader! Here, we try to address the advice on establishing an Islamic HOME, hoping that Allah benefit us with it and vive us direction to strengthen Islam by reviving the Muslim HOME. The advice takes two forms: 1) To achieve reform by enjoining the good and 2) to block the corruption by removing the evil.

Choosing the Right Partner

Righteous husband and wife share the primary and most important step towards building a Righteous Islamic HOME. The righteous man with the righteous woman can both build a righteous HOME because the good abode will bear its fruits with the permission of Allah. That which is bad will produce nothing except misery. Allah, says in the Qur’aan:

“And marry the unmarried among you who are single (i.e. man who has no wife and a woman who has no husband) and (also marry) the ‘Salihun’ (pious, fit, capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid-servants (female slaves). If they are poor, Allah will enrich them out of His Bounty.” [Soorah An-Nahl (24): 32]

For the Man
It is very important to be very careful in choosing a righteous wife as Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said: “The whole world is a place of enjoyment and the best enjoyment is a righteous wife.” Muslim no. 1468 and An-Nisaee from Ibn Amr and Saheeh al-Jaame (3407)

“A righteous wife who will help you in religious and worldly affairs is better than all the treasures the people have collected.” Ahamd 5/282 at-Tirmidhee and Ibn Majah from Thawbaan. Saheeh ul-Jaami 5355

Just as the righteous wife is from the good things, bad woman is one of the difficult things, as is stated in the authentic hadeeth:

“From the joys of a righteous woman is when you look at her she pleases you, when you are away from her, she safeguards herself and your wealth. From the difficulties of a bad woman is when you look at her she displeases you and she answers you back, when you are away from her she does not safeguard herself and you wealth.” Ibn Majah 1861 and others. See Silsilah as-Saheehah 282

One should bear in minds the following condition specified by the Prophet of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) in choosing a wife:

“A woman is married for four reasons; her wealth, her family, her beauty and her faith. So, marry the one who is religious and you will prosper.” Saheeh al-Bukharee vol.9 no. 132.

He (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) also said: “Marry women who are loving and prolific in giving birth, as I shall outnumber the other Prophet’s (nation) through you.” Ahmad 5/245. Al-Albaane said it is authentic in Irwaa al-Ghaleel 6/195

For the Woman :
Likewise, a woman must look at the condition of the proposer who comes for her. His suitability should be according to the following conditions:

The Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said: “If somebody comes to you and you are pleased with his character and religion then marry him. If you do not, there will be discord on earth and widespread corruption.” Ibn Majah 1967. See Slsilah as-Saheehah

This great Hadeeth demonstrate as to what should be the most important character a woman should look for when selecting a husband: they being good character and piety. Wealth and lineage are secondary considerations.

Furthermore, the person of religion and good behavior may be a blessing for her and her children. She may learn manners and religion from him. If he does not have these characters then she should stay away from him, especially if he is one of those who is lax with respect to performing the prayers.

Obligation of Living with one’s wife in Kindness 
It is binding upon the husband to live with his wife in the best way possible and to be lenient to her in everything that Allah has permitted. There are various ahadeeth concerning this issue:

1) Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said: “The best of you is the one who is best to his wives, and I am the best of you towards them”[Authentic At-Tahawee]

2) The Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said in the farewell Hajj: “Listen and take my counsel with regards to women. Be good to them for they are captives with you. You possess nothing to them other than this, unless they commit some flagrant (deliberate) obscenity. If they do then separate the beds (do not have sexual relations with them) and beat them but in a way that does no injury. If they return to obedience, then seek no further retribution. You have rights over your wives and your wives have rights over you. As for your rights over your wives, they are that no one disliked by you should sit on your bed, and they admit no one into your home who you dislike. Yes, and their rights over you is that you are very good to them in providing them dress and their food.” [Authentic at-Tirmidhee and Ibn Majah]

3) He (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said: “Let no male believer ever hate a female believer. Though he may dislike one of her attribute, he will be pleased with another” [Saheeh Muslim]

4) He (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said: “The believer with most complete faith is the one with the best character and the best of those are those who treat their wives in the best.” [Hasan – Tirmidhee]

Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alaihi wasallam), one with best of morals and character, not only advised the Muslim husbands to be good to their wives but he had indeed established an excellent behavior with his wives as clear by the following narration:

1) On the authority of Aa’ishah (radhi allahu anhu) who said: ‘On the Eid, the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) called me while the Ethiopians were playing with their spears in the masjid saying: “O little red one! Would you like to watch them?” I replied ‘Yes.’ Then, he had me stand behind him and dropped his shoulders, so that I could see. I rested my chin on his shoulders with my face against his cheek, and I watched over his shoulders. He kept saying: “Haven’t you had enough?” I kept saying: ‘No in order to test my status with him, until finally I had enough…’ [Saheeh al-Bukhari, Saheeh Muslim and others]

2) On the authority of Aa’ishah (radiyallahu anha), who said: ‘The Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) returned from the battle of Tabook or it was Khaybar. There was a curtain over my room. The wind blew, lifting the curtain and exposing a part of my room in which, Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) saw some dolls with which Aa’ishah (radhi allahu anhu) used to play. He said: “What is this O Aa’ishah?” She replied ‘my daughters (Arabs used to call dolls, daughters). He saw among them a horse with two wings made out of a piece of cloth. He said: “What is this?” She replied: ‘A horse’ He said: “and what are those on the horses?” She replied: ‘Two wings’ He said: “A horse with two wings?!” Aa’ishah said: ‘The Prophet laughed until I could see his molar teeth.’ [Authentic – Abo Dawood An Nisa’ee in Al-Ishrah]

3) Also on the authority of Aa’ishah (radhi allahu anhu) who reported that she was once on a trip with the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) while still a young girl. She said: ‘I had not acquired excess body flesh, nor had my body become large. The Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said to his Companions: Move on ahead. When they had gone on ahead of us, he said: Come, and I will race you. Then I beat him in a foot race.’

‘Later on, I was on another trip with him, and he again said to his Companions: ‘Go on ahead.’ Then, he said to me:’ I will race you.‘ I had completely forgotten the previous incident. Moreover, I had become heavier. She asked: How can I race you, when I am in this condition? He replied: You will race me! So, I raced him, and he won the race. Then he began laughing and said: This is for that victory.‘ [Authentic – Al-Humaydee, an-Nisa’ee in al-Ishrah and Aboo Dawood]

8) Also on the authority of ‘Aa’ishah, (radhi allahu anhu) who said: the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) used to be brought a glass of milk from which I would drink first, even though I was menstruating. Then he would take the glass and drink, putting his mouth on the same spot, where my mouth had been. At other times, I used to take a piece of meat and eat from it. Then he would take it and eat, putting his mouth on the same area on which I had put mine. [Saheeh Muslim and Ahmad]

On the authority of Jaabir bin Abdullah (radhi allahu anhu) and Jaabir bin Umar, both reported that the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said:

“All things in which there is no mention of Allah are frivolity, absent-mindness and idle play except for four things: a man being playful with his wife, training his horse, walking between two purposeful goals and teaching another man to swim.” [An-Nisa’ee in al-Ishrah and at-Tabaree]

Obligation on Woman to Obey Her Husband

It is important for the woman to be obedient to her husband within the range of her capacity, because Allah has favored men over women, as shown in the previously mentioned verses, that they have a degree over them. Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) shed light on this important issue saying:

“By the One in whose Hand is the soul of Muhammad (sallallahu alaihi wasallam), no women has fulfilled her obligations to her Lord, until she has fulfilled her obligations to her husband, even if he were to ask her when she is mounted on the saddle, she should not refuse his request” [Authentic Ibn Majah and Ahmad]

He (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) further elaborated this issue making clear to us the duties of a righteous wife towards her husband and the rewards of her obedience to him:

1) “If a woman prays the five prayer, guards her private parts (from anything illegal), and obeys her husband, she will enter Paradise from any door she wishes.” [Authentic – at-Tabaree in al-Aswat and ibn Hibban]

2) On the authority of Hussian bin Muhsan (radhi allahu anhu) who said: ‘My aunt narrated (a hadeeth) to me, saying: ‘I came to the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) for some need of mine. He (radhi allahu anhu) said: “How are you towards your husband?” She said: ‘I do not fall short in anything except which I am unable to do. Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said: “Well look to your position in relation to him, for it is the key to Paradise and Hell.”‘ [Authentic – at-Tabaree in al-Aswat and ibn Hibban]

3) The Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said: “It is not allowed for a woman to fast in the presence of her husband except with his permission, except in Ramadaan, and she may admit no-one in his house except with his permission” [Saheeh al-Bukhari and others]

4) The Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said: “Whenever a man calls his wife to their bed, but she refuses to come, letting him spend the night angry with her, she is cursed by Angels until the morning.”

In another narration: “Until she goes to him until he forgives her” [Saheeh al-Bukhari and Saheeh Muslim]

Words of Advice to Husband and Wife

1. To be compliant, co-operative and conciliatory towards one another, to advise each other and urge each other towards obedience to Allah, the Most High and the Most Blessed, following all of His Rulings, which have been clearly established in the Qur’aan and the Sunnah. These must never be superseded by blind following of any custom or school of thought, which has predominated among the people. Allah, the Most High says:

“It is not fitting for a believing, man and woman, when a matter has been decided by Allah and His Messenger, to have an opinion about their decision; if anyone disobeys Allah and His Messenger, he is indeed on a clearly wrong path.” [Soorah al-Ahzab: 36]

2.Each of them should fully carry out the duties and responsibilities with which Allah has obliged on them towards one another. The Qur’aan deals with the role of men and women in the following verses:

“Men are protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore, the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah and to their husbands) and guard in their husbands absence what Allah orders them to guard (e.g. chastity, their husbands property, etc.) As to those women on whose part you see ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next) refuse to share their beds, and at last beat them (lightly, if it is useful) but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allah is Ever Most High, Most Great.” [Soorah An-Nisa (4): 34]

The Divine injunction describes man as Qawwam (maintainer) and the women as Qanitah (obedient) Hafizatun lil Ghaib (preserver of the secret). This verse give two reasons as to why men are described as maintainer. Firstly, because

‘Allah has made one of them to excel the other’ which means that He has excelled men to be physically stronger and more inclined to have a career outside the home.

The second reason is that “they spend from their means” it is the man’s duty to provide financially for his family and it is also the man who is required to give a dower to his wife at the time of marriage.

The husbands, thus have been put in charge of his home, but this is a responsibility and not a privilege. His duty is to do justice, to consult the duties of the family and to refrain from tyranny.

The Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said: “Those who do justice will be on thrones of light at Allah’s right Hand, and both of Allah’s Hands are right Hands; those who were just in their ruling with their families and in all which they were given authority.” [Saheeh Muslim]

The different roles of sexes means that never is one burdened with all the duties while the other enjoys all privileges. Instead they both have individual duties and privileges, and both make sacrifice in order to win the pleasure of Allah. The Qur’aan says in this regard:

“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses, etc.) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect, etc.) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them. And Allah is All-Mighty and All-Wise.” [Soorah Al-Baqarah (2): 228]

Mu’aawiyah ibn Haidah (radhi allahu anhu) said: “O Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihe wa-sallam), what rights do our wives have on us? The Prophet of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) replied:

“That you should feed them as you feed yourselves, never invoke ugliness upon them (this refers to the custom of the Arabs before Islam of saying to their wives in anger: May Allah make your face ugly) never strike them on their face, and in boycotting the marital bed do not go outside the house to sleep. How (could you do any of these) when you have entered into one another, so do only that which is allowed with regards to her (for valid reasons)” [Authentic Related by Ahmad]

And when they both of them having faith, know and practice the right and duties of each other, Allah the Most High, authorizes for them a good life as long as they remain together in the bliss of happiness. Allah says in the Qur’aan: “Whoever works righteous, man or woman, and has faith to Him We will give a new life, a life which is good and pure and We will bestow on them their rewards according to the best of their actions.” [Soorah An-Nahl: 97]

Abridged from Advice on Establishing an Islamic Home by Aboo Ubaidah Amr bin Basheer

“Making the House into a place of Remembrance”

“I did not create Jinn and mankind except for My worship”
[Soorah adh-Dhariyaat: 56]

After establishing the most important factor towards building a righteous Islamic HOME: the body – comprising the spouses, their collaboration with each other and compliance to the laws of Allah, the Exalted, comes the next important step – giving life to it, through the remembrance of Allah and His worship, since the body without life is futile and inefficient of yielding any benefit, according to the explanation of Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam), in describing the two categories of houses: “The example of the home in which Allah is remembered and the home in which Allah is not remembered, is like comparing the living and the dead” [Saheeh Muslim (1/539)]

This task can take several forms remembrance by the means of the heart, the tongue like reciting His Book, praising Him, prayers, reciting specific Du’aa mentioned by His Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) etc: Following, are some ways that assist in establishing the Islamic environment in our HOMES:

Performing voluntary prayers in the house

Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: “The best prayer of the man is in his home except the obligatory prayer.” [Abu Dawood]

He also said: “The voluntary (prayer) in the home is better then the voluntary (prayer) with the people. It is like the (obligatory) prayer of the man in congregation being better than praying (the obligatory) by himself.” [Ibn Abee Shaybah and Saheeh al-Jamee (2953)]

Prayer for Stopping or Lodging Somewhere

“Audhu bikalimatillahi tammati min sharri ma khalaq”

“I take refuge with Allah’s Perfect Words from the evils that He has created” [Saheeh Muslim (3/1599)]

Prayer for entering the HOME

“When a man enters his home and he remembers the Name of Allah, the Most High, while entering and also when he eats, Shaytaan says: ‘There is no place for you to spend the night here and there is no food to eat here’ If he enters his home and does not remember the name of Allah while entering; Shaytaan says: ‘There is a place for you to spend the night. If he does not remember the name of Allah while eating he says: ‘There is a place for you to eat and spend the night” [Saheeh Muslim 3/1599]

The Siwaak

Aaisha (radhi allahu anhu) said that the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) used to start with the siwaak when he entered the Home. [Saheeh Muslim]

Prayer for Leaving the HOME

“If a man leaves his HOME and says: ‘In the Name of Allah, I place my trust in Allah and there is nor power except with Allah.

“Bismillah tawakkaltu ala Allah wa la Hawla wa la Kuwwata illa bi-Allah”

It will be said to him: ‘You are guided, defended and protected’ Shaytaan will go away from him and another Shaytaan will say to him: ‘Think! How can you deal with a man who has been guided, defended and protected” [Abu Dawood, Tirmidhee and Saheeh al-Jaami 499]

Before entering Toilet

“Allahumma inni audhubika minal Khubthi wal-Khabaaith”

“O Allah, I take refuge with You from all evil and evil-doers” [Bukharee and Muslim]

After Leaving the Toilet

“gufranak” “I ask you Allah for forgiveness” [Abu Dawood]

Regular recitation of Soorah al-Baqarah

The Prophet of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: “Do not turn your homes into graves as the Shaytaan flees from the homes where Soorah al-Baqarah is recited” [Saheeh Muslim (1/539)]

And: “Recite Soorah al-Baqarah in your homes as Shaytaan does not enter a home where soorah al-Baqarah is recited” [Haakim in al-Mustadrak 1/561 Saheeh al-Jaame (1170)]

He also mentioned the merits of reciting the last two verses of Soorah al-Baqarah, when he said: “Indeed, Allah, the Most High, wrote a book before He created the Heavens and the earth by two thousand years and it is by the Throne. He sent down from it two verses to finish Soorah al-Baqarah with them. If they are recited in an abode for three nights the Shaytaan will not come near it” [Ahmad in as-sunnah (4/274) and Saheeh al-Jaami]

Teaching the Family

“O you who believe, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stone” [Soorah at-Tahreem: 6]

Teaching and educating the family is a duty of the head of the household. The above-mentioned verse teaches the main principle of education: it being ordering the good and forbidding the evil.

Ali (radhi allahu anhu) said about this verse: “Teach them (family) and show them good manners.”

Al-Bukhari (rahimahullah) brings in his Saheeh under the title: ‘Men teaching their female servants, and wives’

“Three will have two rewards… and a man who had a female servant and taught the best of the good manners and gave her the best education, then freed her and married her, he will have two rewards”

Ibn Hajr explains this Hadeeth by saying: “The chapter heading corresponds to the hadeeth in regards to the female servants being mentioned. As for the wives it is through analogy (similarity, correspondence), because it is more important to teach the wives duties prescribed by Allah and the Sunnah of Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) than the female servant.” [Fath al-Baaree (1/190)]

Men should spare a day for his family from his busy schedule and establish regular sittings with his family; if possible these sittings must also include relatives. Encouraging them and being strict to their attendance one should make them stick to it. Al-Bukharee (rahimahullah) writes in his saheeh relating from Aboo Sa’eed al-Khudree (radhi allahu anhu): “The women said to the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam): ‘The men have taken all your time, so give us a day from yourself. So he promised them a day for a meeting to admonish and order them”

Thus, female education is also very important.

These sittings must teach them basic Islamic laws: like the Fundamentals of Tawheed in Islam, Negating Shirk, shunning Innovations etc. Also Laws of Purification, prayer, zakaat, fasting etc.. Along with these they must be instructed with all Islaamic etiquettes: etiquettes of eating and drinking, clothing and adornment, the actions of fitrah, who is a mahram, rules regarding photography, singing…etc. Their schedule must also include Islamic gatherings.

The Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: “May Allah have mercy upon a man who stood at night and prayed, then he wakes up his wife and she prayed. If she refused he sprinkles water upon her face.” [Ahmad and Abu Dawood ]

It is also related from Aishah (radhi allahu anhu) that Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) used to pray at night and when he prayed the witr he would say: “Stand and pray the witr. O A’ishah” [Saheeh Muslim (6/23)]

Educating the Children

Educating the Children should be done from the early age, starting with the Qur’aanic memorization, supplications, etiquettes and manners; like what to say upon sneezing, eating, sleeping, going to the toilets etc.

They should be related stories of the Prophets of the past nations and specifically our Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam). They must be sent to Islamic schools, which include Qur’aan classes, they must be taught the language of the Qur’aan. One may also reward them financially for the completion of each step in their program. One should be very careful about whom they mix with and who they be friend. As children pick up bad manners and bad language from their surrounding.

The Prophet of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: “The example of a good companion in comparison with a bad one, is like that of the musk seller and the blacksmith’s bellow; from the first you would either buy musk or enjoy its good smell, while the bellows would either burn your clothes or your house, or you get a bad nasty smell from it.” [Saheeh Bukharee] Also their toys must be selective, so as to avoid the unlawful.

Establishing a Library in Your Home

An Islaamic library should be set-up in the HOME, in order to aid the family, to widen their scope in understanding the religion and help them to adhere to the shari’ah rules.

It is not necessary to make it like a public library, but enough resources to benefit the children, the elders, both men and women, relatives and guests. It is also important to locate it in a place where it is easily accessible. It is best to have books and cassettes of reliable scholars, on the issues of Islamic Creed, Qur’aan and its Sciences, Hadeeth and its Sciences. Books regarding etiquettes in Islam, Character, Biography of our Noble Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam), his Companions (radhi allahu anhu) and previous Prophets (alaihi as-salaam).

Some recommended books

Islaamic Creed – Explanation of the creed by Imaam al-Barbaharee | Kitaab at-Tawheed by Shaykh ibn abu al-Wahhab |The Salaf’s Guide to the Understanding of Fate in Islam by Dr. Saleh as-Saleh | Tawassul Its Types and Ruling by Shaykh Naasir ad-Deen Al-Albanee.

Qur’aan– An Introduction to the Qur’aan Suhaib Hasan | An introduction to the Principles of Tafseer by Shaykh al-Islaam ibn Taymiyyah | The Tafseer Soorah an-Naba, Soorah Nazi’aat | Soorah Fatihah, Ayyat al-Kursi and others by Dr. Saleh as-Saleh.

Hadeeth– Summarized edition of Saheeh Bukhari | Introduction to the sciences of Hadeeth | An introduction to the Sunnah by Sohaib Hasan | The Hadeeth is a Proof in Itself by Shaykh Naasir ad-Deen Al-Albanee | Forty Hadeeth by Imaam An-Nawawi

Others – The Prophet’s Prayer by Shaykh Naasir ad-Deen Al-albanee |

Inviting the Righteous and the Students of Knowledge to Visit your HOME

“My Lord, forgive me and my parents and whosoever enter my house, a believer, believing men and believing women. And do not increase the wrong-doers in destruction.” [Soorah an-Nuh (28)]

It is essential to be very careful about those, who enter your HOMES, since it has a great effect on your family members, their behavior and character. Prophet of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said regarding the right company:

“Souls are like troops collected together and those who familiarized with each other (before the beginning of the world) would have affinity with one another (in the world) and those amongst them who opposed each other (before the beginning of the world) would also be divergent (in the world).” [Saheeh Muslim (6376)]

Bad company may ruin ones life in this world and the Hereafter. The Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said while passing through one of the grave-yards:

“These two persons are being tortured not for a major sin (to avoid).” The he added: “Yes (they are being tortured for a major sin). Indeed, one of them never saved himself from being soiled with his urine while the other used to go about with calumnies (to make enmity between friends).”[Saheeh al-Bukharee (1/215)]

One should invite righteous people and the students of knowledge as the carrier of musk will either lay down a good example, or you will be influenced by them and the children and the family can also benefit by listening to them.

A sign of the righteous is recitation of the Qur’aan, the prophet of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: “A believer who recites is like a citron whose fragrance is sweet and whose taste is sweet. A believer who does not recite the Qur’aan is like a date, which has no fragrance but has sweet taste. A profligate (inattentive) who recites the Qur’aan is like basil whose fragrance is sweet but whose taste is bitter and the profligate who does not recite the Qur’aan is like the colocynth, which has a bitter taste and has no fragrance. A good companion is like musk; even if nothing of it goes to you, its fragrance will reach you. A bad companion is like a man who has bellows; if its (black) soot does not reach you, its smoke will reach you.”[Abu Dawood (4811)]

For those who Accept the Invitation

It is recommended for him who accepts the invitation to make Du’aa for the host, after he has finished eating, using one of the following prayers:

“Allahumma Baarik lahum fima razaktahum wagfir lahum war-Hamhum”

“O Allah, forgive them, have mercy on them and bless them in that which You have granted them.” [Saheeh Muslim]

“Allahumma at’im man atamani waski man sakani”

“O Allah, feed the one who feeds me and give drink to the one who gives me.” [Saheeh Muslim and Ahmad]

“Aftara ‘indakum as-saaimoon wa-akala ta’aamakum abraar, wa-sallat ‘alaykum al-malaaikah”

“May the righteous eat your food, may the Angels send their prayers upon you, and may fasting ones break fast in your house.” [(Authentic) Ahmad, Bayhaqee and others]

Spreading Good manners and Gentleness in the HOME

The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: “If Allah, the Most High and the Most Majestic, intends good for the people, He puts within them gentleness.” [Musnad Ahmad (6/71)]

Gentleness is one of the means to peace and happiness in the HOME.
Gentleness with the spouse and children is very beneficial and the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) is reported to be very kind and helpful to his wives and children. He was a man amongst men who used to patch up his clothes, he used to milk his goat and serve himself. [Sisilah al-Ahaadeeth (671)]

Being playful with one’s wife and children is another reason of extending happiness in the house.

The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: “Everything which does not contain the dhikr of Allah is amusement and play, except four: A man playing with his wife…” [Sunan Nisa’ee]

And Aa’ishah (radhi allahu anha) said: “I and the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) used to bathe together from one pot in our house. The pot used to be between me and him, he used to race with it and I used to say: ‘Leave some, leave some.” She said they both used to be in janaba.”

Many instances can be found regarding being kind and playful with the children. The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) used to be very kind to children. He used to talk to them in a gentle way, stroke their heads, carry them on his back and give them dates before he ate one. He (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: “The one who is not merciful, will not have mercy shown to him.” [Saheeh al-Bukharee]

Narrated Ibn Abbas (radhi allahu anhu), when the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) arrived in Makkah, the small children of Banee ‘Abd al-Mutallib (a tribe) welcomed him, he put one of them on his back and carried one of them in his arms.” [Saheeh al-Bukharee]

Narrated Abdullah ibn Ja’far (radhi allahu anhu): “Whenever the Prophet came back from a journey he would meet us. Once he met me, al-Hasan, and al-Husayn. He carried one of us in his arms and the other on his back until we entered al-Madeenah.” [ Muslim, Abu Dawood and Ibn Majah]

Discipline among the Family

Strict time keeping in the House: A Strict timetable in the house should be formed, for example eating timings, all members of the family should eat together, sleeping timings, wake up early, no late-nights etc…
The HOME should not resemble a hotel, where people act according to their desires

Guarding the Secrets of the House

The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: “From amongst the most evil of people with Allah on the Day of Judgement is a man who has relationship with his wife and she with him, then he spreads her secrets.” [Saheeh Muslim (4/157)]

Also, the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) once said: “Perhaps a man will say what he does with his family, and the woman will inform what she did with her husband.” The people were silent, but a woman Asmaa bint Yazeed said: “By Allah, O Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam)! The women do this, and indeed the men also do that.” He replied: “Do not do that, for it is like a male Shaytaan meeting a female Shaitaan in the road and they have relations while the people are watching.” [Musnad Ahmad (6/457)]

Thus, one should not spread the marital matters outside the house, and act upon the saying of Allah: “And if you fear dissension between the two, send an arbitrator (mediator) from his people and an arbitrator from her people. If they both desire reconciliation, Allah will cause it between them. Indeed, Allah is Ever Knowing and Acquainted.” [Soorah an-Nisa (4): 35]

Seeking Permission to Enter: Allah says: “O you who believe! Do not enter houses other than your own houses until you ascertain welcome and greet their inhabitants. That is best for you; perhaps you will be reminded. If you do not find anyone therein, so not enter, until the permission has been given to you. If it is said to you: Go back, then go back; it is purer for you. And Allah is knowing of what you do.” [Soorah an-Noor (24): 27-28]

“And it is not righteousness to enter houses from the back, but righteousness is in one who fears Allah. And enter houses from their doors. And fear Allah, that you may succeed.” [Soorah al-Baqarah (2): 189]

“Whenever the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) asked permission to enter, he knocked the door thrice with a greeting and whenever he spoke a sentence (said a thing) he used to repeat it thrice.” [Saheeh al- Bukharee]

When she reached his house, Zaynab, the wife of Ibn Mas’ood, came and asked permission to enter. It was said: “O Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) it is Zaynab” He asked: “Which Zaynab?” The reply was: ‘the wife of Ibn Mas’ood’. He said: “Yes, allow her to enter.” So she was admitted.” [Saheeh al-Bukharee (2/541)]

One should not enter the house if permission is not granted: Abu Sa’eed al-Khudree (radhi allahu anhu) said: “Abu Moosa (radhi allahu anhu) came as if he was scared, and said: ‘I asked permission to enter Umar’s house three times, but I was not given permission, so I returned.’ (When Umar knew about this) he said to Abu Moosa: “Why did you not enter?” Abu Moosa replied: “I asked the permission three times and I was not given it, so I returned for the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: “If any one of you asks permission thrice to enter and permission is not given, then he should return…” [Saheeh al-Bukharee ]

Order for the Children and Servants not to enter the Bedroom

The children and servants are ordered not to enter the bedroom of the husband and wife without permission, during the times of sleep and rest. These are before the dawn, after the ishaa prayer and the time of the mid day nap. There is a threat that they may intrude on their privacy and Allah says: “O you who believe! Let those whom your right hands possess and those who have not yet reached puberty among you ask permission of you (before entering)during three times; before the dawn prayer, and when you put aside your clothing (for rest) at noon, and after the night prayer. (These are) three times of privacy for you. There is no blame on you, nor upon them beyond these (periods), for they (habitually) circulate among you and each other. Thus does Allah make clear to you the verses, and Allah is Knowing and Wise.” [Soorah an-Noor (24): 58]

It is Forbidden to Spy

It is forbidden to look into other people’s houses without their permission. The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: “…If someone peeps into your house without your permission, and you throw a stone at him and damage his eyes, there will be no blame on you.” [Saheeh al-Bukharee (9/26)]

And: “If anyone peeps into the house of a people without their permission and he knocks out his eye, Qasas (punishment) nor diya (blood-money) is incurred for his eye.” [Abo Dawood (5153)]

One must come to the door seeking permission and avoid looking in if the door is open. When Sa’d ibn abee Waqqas (radhi allahu anhu) came and stood at the door, the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: “Stand away from it, (stand) this side or that side. Asking permission is meant to escape from the look.” [Aboo Dawood (5155)]

Hanging the stick where it may be seen: One of the ways to teach good manners, is hanging of a stick in the house where it will be a threat. The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: “Hang the sticks where they can be seen by the people of the house, because it is a way of teaching manners to them.” [Tabaree and Silsilah as-Saheehah]

The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) also said: “Order your children to perform the prayer when they are seven, and spank them when they are ten.” [Aboo Dawood]

One should not resort to hitting without a need of it, because hanging the stick does not mean to hit them, it is merely to teach them manners and it is not the only way of teaching manners, Allah says: “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other and because they support them from their means. Therefore, the righteous women are devotedly obedient, and guard in (the husband’s) absence what Allah would have them guard. As for those women on whose part you fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next) refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance): for Allah is Most High, Great (above you all).” [Soorah An-Nisa (4): 34]

One may also boycott anyone for a sin as Aa’ishah (radhi allahu anha) said: “Whenever the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) heard anyone from his household tell a lie he would boycott them until he saw that they had repented.” [Ahmad (6/152), and in Saheeh al-Jaami (4675)]

SOURCE: The Islam Show – About the Author: Nasir.

http://www.articlesbase.com/home-and-family-articles/establishing-an-islamic-family-4240575.html

Being at peace with yourself- Psychological Approach towards Acceptance and Serenity

Imagine what your reaction would be if you saw your Muslim brother or sister verbally and physically abusing another Muslim that was feeling very depressed for making a mistake?  What if you heard them yelling, “ YOU STUPID IDIOT…..can’t you do anything right? Then punching him and saying, “YOU’RE ALWAYS MESSING UP!”  As he  tries  to catch his breath, he kicks him and says , “You are so WORTHLESS!”  Your heart would be overflowing with sympathy for the one oppressed and with absolute rage at the oppressor. The natural response would be to protect the oppressed, help him up  and tend to his wounds.  You would comfort him by explaining that we all make mistakes and we can always change.  As your nurturing slowly takes effect, your anger would be directed at the cruel, heartless person standing before you.  That person could be yourself.

This is the way we usually react towards ourselves when we make mistakes and when we fall short of our expectations.  We beat ourselves up with abusive language which causes scars that last much longer than physical scars.  Negativity and hostility envelops us and we repeatedly kick ourselves until we are immobilized.  How is it that we were so sensitive and understanding towards our Muslim brother or sister yet we can’t tolerate the smallest mistakes from ourselves?  Why is it so easy to see the abuse of others and yet we are so blinded by the abuse we commit to ourselves on a daily basis?

There are many times when we may not feel good about ourselves.  It could be that we feel disappointed from repeatedly falling into the same error or extremely frustrated that we are not fulfilling our duties.  Sometimes we are not content with our personality – we may feel caged in by our shyness or out of control by our anger.  If it is not frustration or disappointment we are feeling, then it’s anxiety.  Many people suffer from anxiety which stems from fear of the future or fear of the unknown.   Whatever the circumstances may be, the reactions are usually the same.  We demoralize ourselves with negative self-talk which leaves us feeling miserable and hopeless.  Each time we make a mistake we are harsher and more severe which leaves us feeling more depressed and less peaceful.
This pattern has got to STOP.  We need to explore the many things that destroy our peace and techniques to use in order to gain that peace back.

Peace Slayers:

Dwelling Over The Past

There are times when people can’t forgive themselves for mistakes of the past.  It could be due to hurtful things they have said or done.  They spend all their time regretting the mistakes they have made. Some people can’t forgive the mistakes of others. Show forgiveness, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the misguided. Surat Al-Araf 7:199  They have somehow been wronged either by their parents, spouse, relative, friend or complete strangers and they can’t go beyond this incident.  They end up clinging on to grudges and  they vow to never forgive the perpetrator. Living in the past prevents you from enjoying the blessings of the present.  By dwelling on the past and not being able to overlook the mistakes of themselves or others, they will rob themselves of the serenity they deserve.

2. Anxious About The Future

There are people who spend every waking moment worrying about the future. “Verily, We have created man in toil (a state of struggle and stress).” Surat Al-Balad 90:4 When will I get married?  Will I have kids? Will I pass my exam?  Am I going to get a job?  How will my kids turn out?  How will I pay for their tuition? Am I going to get sick or get a disease? What will happen when I retire?  The worries go on and on with no end in sight.  This constant preoccupation with the future makes them miss out on all the wonderful events of the present.

3. Comparing

Another way that people destroy their peace is by comparing themselves to others.  They look at the polished exterior of others and feel inadequate about themselves, their spouse and their children since they are aware of all their own flaws and shortcomings. Each person is a package deal so accept the whole package.  You may be admiring a person’s good looks not knowing how their heart is diseased. The wealth and possessions of others may impress you when you are unaware of the tests they may be encountering. And He has raised you in ranks, some above others that He may test you in that which He has bestowed on you.  Surat Al-An’am 6:165   Look not with your eyes ambitiously at what We have bestowed on certain classes, nor grieve over them. Surat Al-Hijr 15:88 Each time we compare, we are left feeling unhappy and anxious, depriving ourselves from being aware of all the wonderful things  in our lives.

The only time it is recommended to compare is when it has a positive impact on our lives.  We can compare ourselves to people more knowledgeable or more charitable in order to get us inspired to be a better person. Narrated by Abu Hurairah the Prophet (peace and salat upon him) said, “Do not wish to be like anyone except two men:  A man whom Allah has taught the Quran and he recites it during the day and night and a man whom Allah has given wealth and he spends it on charity.  Another permissible comparison is looking at people who are much worse off than us in wealth and health.  By doing this we instantly feel grateful and pacified.

4. Rejecting your destiny

The worst way of slaying your peace is by rejecting your destiny.  This is when a person is absolutely angry, upset and frustrated from the events of their life.  It may be that they have not gotten married or were divorced, they are unable to get a job, they have medical issues or they are unhappy with their spouse.  Whatever the circumstance- they are mad.  They feel it’s unfair.  They question why others have it easy and their life is such a mess.  It’s vital to realize that Allah is the Most Wise and if a person questions their life they are implying (Astaghfirullah) that they know better than Allah.  When people reject their destiny, they sentence themselves to a life of misery.  You may hate something when it is good for you, and you may love something when it is bad for you.  Allah knows, and you do not know.  (Surat al-Baqara, 2:216)

Ways to attain peace:

1.Relationship with God

When people have a strong, healthy relationship with their creator, they attain an infinite amount of peace.  It is Allah who sent peace and tranquility into the hearts of the believers, that they may grow more in their faith. (Surat al-Fath 48:4)  Their perspective is broadened.  They don’t only look at the circumstances and difficulties of their lives and despair.  Certainty in the promises of Allah fills their heart which makes them persevere with an unequivocal amount of patience when faced with the most unimaginable tests.  When people know the names and attributes of Allah – I mean really know them and understand them not just list the names- then they will not fall prey to the slayers of peace because they will not dwell over the past, won’t be anxious about the future, won’t compare and they definitely would not reject their destiny.  Without a well established relationship with Allah which involves obedience and commitment, no one can have true peace.  Behold! Verily on the ‘Awiliyas’ (friends) of Allah there is no fear, nor shall they grieve; those who believe and constantly guard against evil.” (10:62-63)

2.Acceptance

Acceptance is one of the most critical aspect of attaining peace.  There needs to be genuine acceptance  of everything in your life and that includes  your past, your present, your looks, your circumstances  and your destiny.  If you are unable to accept an event in your life and if you dwell on why things happened the way they did, then you will be filled with grief and anxiety.  Don’t grieve at the things that you fail to get, nor rejoice over that which has been given to you.  Surat Al-Hadid 27:23 As soon as there is acceptance, the peace immediately follows.  The focus of therapy in many instances is to help the client accept themselves and their lives.  It is amazing how a person transforms when they stop metaphorically having a tantrum by kicking and screaming and finally accepting their portion in life.

3. Internal Validation

Majority of people have very low self-esteem and the only way they can feel good about themselves is to try to gain the approval and acceptance of others.  This can be a very slippery slope depending on the people they are trying to impress.  Many teenagers are so desperate to gain recognition and approval of their peers that they will do absolutely anything. This of course is the extreme example where individuals put their ethics and beliefs aside simply to gain acceptance.  However; there is a more subtle, psychological issue which involves being unhappy unless a person receives compliments or validations.  They simply can’t feel adequate unless they get another person’s approval.  This will make a person extremely needy of others and they will never feel content or even peaceful unless another person gives them validation. That is why it is of paramount importance to give internal validation ; feeling good about actions because they are pleasing to Allah. There is no need to be dependent on others to feel good or worthy.  And they give food for the love of Him to the poor, orphan, and the captive saying, “We feed you seeking Allah’s Countenance only.  We wish for no reward , nor thanks from you.” Surat-Al-Insan 76:8,9)

4.Self-Talk

The dialogue people have with themselves has been estimated to be about 600 words a minute!  What’s all the chatter about ?  Studies show that 85% of the self-talk is negative.  Once the self-talk is seen as a way to program the mind, it can be used to achieve peace.  When a person says comforting things to themselves rather than beating themselves up they will be in a much better state to reach their goals.  It is important to remember to be kind and understanding when mistakes occur and to always be aware of the internal dialogue.  When the self-talk is positive then a person can overcome any obstacle – if it is negative they will propel in a downward spiral of depression.   Whatever is said in this internal dialogue will determine the mood, the level of peace and the ability to achieve any goal so watch the self-talk.

5. Self-worth

A person’s self-worth is not based on some number – it’s not how much is in the bank account, IQ, size, GPA or salary.  When people start equating their worth based on these things they can feel extremely discouraged.  Self-worth is the ability for people to see themselves as competent, successful individuals that are able to deal effectively with the demands of their lives.  One of the biggest stumbling blocks to success is a lack of self-worth. The best way to feel worthwhile is doing everything in your life to please the creator. Verily, my prayer, my sacrifice, my living and my death are for Allah, the Lord of mankind Surat Al-An’am 6: 162 In this way the action is done purely for Allah without longing for any recognition or approval from anyone else.  It is essential to establish an exemplary character which truly makes any individual an invaluable asset to have in any setting.  To foster a feeling of self-worth is to set small, achievable goals that will bring about a feeling of confidence.   Contributing time, money and talent in helping others will also develop a strong sense of self-worth.  Whosoever intercedes for a good cause will have the reward thereof Surat An-Nisa 4:85.

6. Forgiveness

The key to having peace within ourselves and with others is to be forgiving.  Grudges and animosity gradually diminish our state of tranquility just as a pristine piece of metal steadily rusts in harsh weather. If we view each event in our life as a test and we focus on passing the test then it is much easier to forgive.  When we forgive to only please Allah and to pass our tests peace descends upon our hearts. It is so incredibly liberating when we can let go of the hurt, throw out the emotional baggage and move on.  It will free our heart, our mind and our soul if we forgive and forget.  The recompense for an evil is an evil like thereof; but whoever forgives and makes reconciliation, his reward is with Allah.  Surat Ash-Shura 42:40

When you are faced with difficulties and disappointments make sure you avoid the peace slayers.  As you stay away from the things that rob you of peace, work hard on attaining it back through the above mentioned suggestions.  Each item in this article requires another article to elaborate on the topic in depth; however I wanted to give an overview of how peace can be attained since so many people struggle with it. There are multitudes of ways to gain peace – these were just a few. Share with us the ways you go about attaining peace.

SOURCE: http://muslimmatters.org/2011/04/18/being-at-peace-with-yourself-psychological-approach-towards-acceptance-and-serenity/#printpreview

Path to Paradise

<I believe this is a lovely motivational story for us kick start our jumah mood!  as Posted by Abdulkadir Muhammad on welcome islam. I think its should be called from rope to hope!  When we are told not to ever underestimate our power to save a life; this is a proof of how true that advice is! >

Every Friday afternoon, after the Juma prayers, the Imam and his eleven year old son would go out into their town and hand out “PATH TO PARADISE” and other Islamic literature.
This particular and fortunate Friday afternoon, as the time came for the Imam and his son to go to the streets with their booklets, it was very c…old outside, as well as pouring rain. The boy bundled up in his warmest and driest clothes and said, ‘OK, dad, I’m ready!’
His dad asked, ‘Ready for what’ ‘Dad, it’s time we go out and distribute these Islamic books.’ Dad responds, ‘Son, it’s very cold outside and it’s pouring rain.’
The boy gives his dad a surprised look, asking, ‘But Dad, aren’t people still going to hell, even though it’s raining?’
Dad answers, ‘Son, I am not going out in this weather.’ Despondently, the boy asks, ‘Dad, can I go Please’ His father hesitated for a moment then said, ‘Son, you can go. Here are the booklets. Be careful son.’ ’Thanks, Dad!’
And with that, he was off and out into the rain. This eleven year old boy walked the streets of the town going door to door and handing everybody he met in the street a pamphlet or a booklet. After two hours of walking in the rain, he was soaking, bone-chilled wet and down to his VERY LAST BOOKLET.
He stopped on a corner and looked for someone to hand a booklet to, but the streets were totally deserted.
Then he turned toward the first home he saw and started up the Side walk to the front door and rang the door bell. He rang the bell, but nobody answered.. He rang it again and again, but still no one answered. He waited but still no answer.  Finally, he turned to leave, but something stopped him. Again, he turned to the door and rang the bell and knocked loudly on the door with his fist. He waited, something holding him there on the front porch!
He rang again and this time the door slowly opened.
Standing in the doorway was a very sad-looking elderly lady. She softly asked, ‘What can I do for you, son?’ With radiant eyes and a smile that lit up her world, this little boy said, ‘Ma’am, I’m sorry if I disturbed you, but I just want to tell you that ALLAH REALLY LOVES AND CARES FOR YOU and I came to give you my very last booklet which will tell you all about God, the real purpose of creation, and how to achieve His pleasure.’ With that, he handed her his last booklet and turned to leave. She called to him as he departed. ‘Thank you, son! And God Bless You!’
Next week on Friday afternoon after Juma prayers, the Imam was giving some lectures. As he concludes the lectures, he asked, ‘Does anybody have questions or want to say anything?’ Slowly, in the back row among the ladies, an elderly lady’s voice was heard over the speaker.
‘No one in this gathering knows me. I’ve never been here before. You see, before last Friday I was not a Muslim, and thought I could be. My husband died few years ago, leaving me totally alone in this world.. Last Friday, being a particularly cold and rainy day, I was contemplating suicide as I had no hope left. So I took a rope and a chair and ascended the stairway into the attic of my home.. I fastened the rope securely to a rafter in the roof then stood on the chair and fastened the other end of the rope around my neck. Standing on that chair, so lonely and broken- hearted. I was about to leap off, when suddenly the loud ringing of my doorbell downstairs startled me. I thought, I’ll wait a minute, and whoever it is will go away. I waited and waited, but the ringing doorbell seemed to get louder and more insistent, and then the person ringing also started knocking loudly….

I thought to myself again, ‘Who on earth could this be?
Nobody ever rings my bell or comes to see me.’ I loosened the rope from my neck and started for the front door, all the while the bell rang louder and louder. When I opened the door and looked I could hardly believe my eyes, for there on my front porch was the most radiant and angelic little boy I had ever seen in my life. His SMILE, oh, I could never describe it to you! The words that came from his mouth caused my heart that had long been dead TO LEAP TO LIFE as he exclaimed with a cherub-like voice, ‘Ma’am, I just came to tell you that: ALLAH REALLY LOVES AND CARES FOR YOU!’
Then he gave me this booklet, Path To Paradise that I now hold in my hand. As the little angel disappeared back out into the cold and rain, I closed my door and read slowly every word of this book. Then I went up to my attic to get my rope and chair. I wouldn’t be needing them anymore.
You see? I am now a Happy Vicegerent of the One True God.
Since the address of your congregation was stamped on the back of this booklet, I have come here to personally say THANK YOU to God’s little angel who came just in the nick of time and by so doing, spared my soul from an eternity in hell.’ There was not a dry eye in the mosque. The shouts of TAKBIR.. ALLAH AKBAR.. rented the air.

Imam-Dad descended from the pulpit to the front row where the little angel was seated…. He took his son in his arms and sobbed uncontrollably. Probably no jama’at has had a more glorious moment, and probably this universe has never seen a father that was more filled with love and honor for his son…Except for One. This very one…

Blessed are your eyes for reading this message.
Don’t let this message die, read it again and pass it to others.
Heaven is for His people!
Remember, God’s message CAN make the difference in the life of someone close to you.
Please share this wonderful message Spread His Word, help Him and you’ll see His hand in everything you do…

Q 5:3: This day I’ve perfected your religion for you, and completed my favor on you, and chose Islam for you as religion….
Please keep pray for all the needful and painful people in this planet and look after each other.
God Bless us all.

-Dr.Imam Yahya Imamudiin

Easy Actions for which Rewards are Multiplied

<“He that does good shall have ten times as much to his credit ” (Surah Al An’am, 6:160). Its amazing the ways  Allah rewards good deeds… Here are tips on what to do in order to sow and reap abundantly. May Allah make them easy for us to practice. Amen.>

1. Preserving the ties of kinship: “Whoever wishes that his provision be increased and his age lengthened, let him maintain the ties of kinship.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

2. Performing many prayers in the two noble Harams (in Makkah and Madinah): “Prayer in this masjid of mine (the Prophet – PBUH) is superior to a thousand prayers elsewhere, except for Masjid al-Haram, and prayer in Masjid al-Haram is superior to one hundred thousand prayers elsewhere.” [Ahmad and ibn Majah]

3. Performing prayers in congregation: “Prayer in congregation is superior to praying individually twenty-seven times.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

4. Praying `Isha and Fajr in congregation: “He who prays Isha’ in Jama’ah [congregation] is as if he has prayed for half the night. As to him who (also) prays Fajr in congregation, it is as if he has prayed all night.” [Narrated by Malik and the wording is that of Muslim who also reported it]

5. Performing voluntary prayers at home: “The most superior prayer of a person is in his home, except for obligatory prayers.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]. “Superiority of a man’s prayer in his home over his prayer when people see him is like the superiority of an obligatory prayer over a voluntary one.” [Al-Bayhaqi, classed as Saheeh by al-Albani]

6. Observing some manners of the day of Jumu`ah: “Whoever ghassala (washes his head, and it is said: has intercourse with his wife so that it be a means to lower the gaze from the haram that day) and ightasala (washed up his body as in the ritual impurity) on the day of Jumuah, then comes in the earliest time and before the first khutbah, walks and doesn’t ride, stays near the Imam, listens and does not speak – for each step [he makes] he has actions of one year, the reward of fasting and standing in prayer in it.” [Ahl as-Sunan]

7. Salat ul-Ishraq: “Whoever prays al-ghadaa (i.e. al fajr) in congregation, then sits remembering Allah until sunrise, then prays two units of prayer, has a complete reward of Hajj and `Umrah [The Prophet, sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam, repeated ‘complete’ three times for emphasizing]. [At-Tirmidhi, classed as Saheeh by al-Albani]

8. Attending lectures in the mosque: “Whoever goes to the mosque not desiring except to learn or teach what is good has the reward of a pilgrim who completed his Hajj.” [At-Tabarani, classed as Saheeh by Al-Albani]

9. Performing `Umrah in the month of Ramadhan: “`Umrah in Ramadhan is equal to a Hajj with me.” [al-Bukhari]

10. Performing obligatory prayers in the mosque: “Whoever leaves his home in a state of purity to perform obligatory prayer, his reward is like that of a pilgrim (while) in the state of ihram [i.e. he receives reward similar to that of spending time in ihram during Hajj]. [Abu Dawud, classed as Saheeh by Al-Albani]. So one should be in a state of purity when leaving one’s home, rather than the place for ablution within the mosque, except due to necessity.

11. Being from the people of the first row in congregational prayers: `Irbad bin Saariyah, may Allah be pleased with him, said: “The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam, used to seek forgiveness for [the people of] the first row three times, and for [the people of the] second row once.” [an-Nasa’i and Ibn Majah]. “Allah and His Angels make salawat upon [the people of] the first row.” [Ahmad, with a good isnad]

12. Prayer in Masjid Qubaa’ in Madinah: “Whoever purifies himself in his house then comes to Masjid Qubaa’ and prays in it has the reward like that of `Umrah.” [An-Nasa’i and Ibn Majah]

13. Saying what the caller to prayer says: “Say as they say [i.e. callers to prayer], and when you finish, ask and you will be given.” [Abu Dawud and An-Nasa’i]. That is, supplicate when you finish repeating after the caller to prayer.

14. Fasting Ramadhan and following it with six days of Shawwal: “Whoever fasts Ramadhan, then follows it with six (days) of Shawwal, it is like fasting all the time.” [Muslim]

15. Fasting three days each month: “Whoever fasts three days each month, it is like fasting all the time.” [At-Tirmidhi]. This is supported by the verse, “Whoever comes with a good deed for him is a tenfold [reward].” (6:160). One day is being equal to ten days.

16. Providing food for breaking of the fast: “Whoever provides food for breaking of the fast of a fasting person receives the reward of the fasting person, without the reward of the fasting person being reduced in any way.” [At-Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah]

17. Standing in prayer on Laylatul-Qadr: “Laylatul Qadr is better than a thousand months” (Qur’an 97:3), that is, superior to approximately 83 years of worship.

18. Jihad: “Standing of a man in a row (saff) in the way of Allah is superior to 60 years of worship.” [Al-Hakim, classed as Saheeh by al-Albani]. This is the superiority of standing in a row, so what about one who fights in the way of Allah for days, or months, or years?

19. Ribaat: “Whoever takes a post (at borders of Muslim lands, where an enemy may be expected) for a day and night in the way of Allah has the reward of fasting and standing in prayer for a month, and whoever dies in such a state receives a continuous reward similar to it, and is [also] rewarded with provision and saved from al-Fattaan (i.e. punishment of the grave).” [Related by Muslim]

20. Righteous actions in the first ten days of Dhul Hijjah: “There are no days in which righteous deeds are dearer to Allah than these ten [days of Dhul Hijjah].” They said, “O Messenger, even jihad in the way of Allah?” He said, “Not even jihad in the way of Allah, except for the man who leaves with his life and wealth, and does not return with any of it (life or wealth).” [Al-Bukhari]

21. Frequent recitation of Qur’anic surahs: “Qul Huwa’Llahu Ahad” is equal to a third of the Qur’an and “Qul yaa ayyuha’l Kaafiroon” is equal to a fourth of the Qur’an.” [At-Tabarani, classed as Saheeh by Al-Albani]

22. Al-Istighfaar: “Whoever seeks forgiveness for believing men and believing women, Allah will write for him a good deed for each believing man and believing woman.” [At-Tabarani, classed as Hasan by Al-Albani]

23. Fulfilling people’s needs: “That I walk with my Muslim brother in [fulfilling his] need is dearer to me than being in i`tikaf (seclusion) in the masjid for a month.” [Ibn Abi Dunya, classed as Hasan by al-Albani]

24. Dhikr: That I say ‘Subhaan Allah, wal-Hamdu li’Llah, wa laa ilaaha ill Allahu wa’Llahu Akbar’ is dearer to me than what the sun has risen upon. [Muslim]

“Whoever enters a market and says: ‘Laa ilaaha ill Allah wahdahu laa shareeka lah, lahul mulku wa lahul Hamdu yuhyi wa yumeetu wa huwa Hayyun laa yamoot, bi yadihil khayru, wahuwa `alaa kulli shay’in qadeer’ [there is nothing worthy of worship but Allah, He is alone without partner, to Him belongs dominion and praise, he causes life and death and He is the Living and does not die. In His Hand is all the good, and He is over all things competent.], Allah will write for him a million good deeds, erase a million of his bad deeds and raise him a million levels.” [at-Tirmidhi, classed as Hasan by al-Albani]

There are many other words of remembrance, which are rewarded abundantly, as is well known.

SOURCE: An article by Sulaymaan ibn Saalih al-Kharaashi- http://www.islamiczone.netfirms.com/Islamic%20Articles%20Folder/Easy%20Actions%20for%20which%20Rewards%20Are%20Multiplied.htm

Twelve ways to get active in your Local Masjid (Mosque)

There are countless ways to be and be involved in your Masjid. An active Masjid where God-fearing believers pray, teach and learn is the absolute best place to be.

1. Be a Visitor: First of all, visit your Masjid for salah (prayer) regularly at least once or twice a day. While all prayers are more virtuous in the Masjid than at home, the Fajr and Isha salah (morning and night prayer) are particularly important, according to the Sunnah (Tradition of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). Experience also shows that most people are free from other
engagements at those times, and so these gatherings, especially the Isha salah, is the largest. If you are not regular at your Masjid, it may be advisable to start with daily Isha salah at the Masjid, then add Fajr, and then the next convenient salah, and so on.

2. Be a Minaret: An extremely charming and beneficial role you can play at the Masjid is to be a minaret: a minaret of the light of smiles, politeness, cordiality and concern for other visitors. This is the most important yet unassuming role one can play. Make your Masjid a beloved place for the rest of your Muslim brothers you meet there. Believe me, people sometimes would be encouraged to come to the Masjid if they know such minarets are there who will make their day, and bring happiness and friendship to their lives.

3. Be a student: The next role after becoming a regular visitor is to be a student. There must be more knowledgeable people than you in the Masjid in one or more areas of Islamic knowledge. If you are lucky, there are one or more study circles for this knowledge already. If not, start them. Then do not be shy to be a student of whoever knows something valuable.

4. Be a Teacher: Being a teacher is even more beneficial role, because now you both give and take from other people. Of course, this requires that you have sufficiently mastered the subject or area you teach or speak about.

5. Be a Follower: The congregational salah are the best spiritual and mental exercise to teach us how to follow with discipline. Even if the Imam (leader) makes a mistake, there are rules to correct him. Similarly, when it comes to organizing all other educational, social and even political efforts at the Masjid, join the efforts you see best for yourself, and be a good, thinking, positive and constructive follower of the leadership.

6. Be a Leader: If and when you learn to be a good follower and listener, you can also begin to learn how to be a good leader. All those Masjid committees, outreach groups, open houses, initiatives for major projects need good leaders. If you are fully confident that you can do a good job as a leader, do not deprive your community of your skills. But be extremely careful of selfishness, self-aggrandizement, or arrogance. Leadership is not everyone’s job, and this does not have to do with piety alone. The Prophet [Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam (SAWS) / peace be upon him] had advised Abu Tharr, a very righteous companion, to never accept a position of leadership.

7. Be a Brother: When praying in congregation, the people praying with you are your brothers. You are with them in the company of Allah. They are beseeching Allah for the same things as you. In fact, you collectively say ‘Ameen’ upon completing Fatihah (the first chapter of Qur’an). If Allah accepts any ONE of them, ALL of the people praying with him are blessed and forgiven. A scholar used to say that the congregational salah is dear to him for this very reason. Praying in the company of the righteous is, therefore, an immense blessing. Would you not love those brothers whose salah coincide yours, and whose acceptance with Allah may be your acceptance?

8. Be a Helper: Masjid is the best place to remember and practice the teaching of the Qur’an:
“Help you one another in benevolence and piety, and do not help one another in sin and hostility.” (5:2)
Where else could you find more acts of righteousness and piety?

9. Be a Cleaner: Cleaning the Masjid is a great honor in the sight of Allah. The Prophet (SAWS) insisted to pray upon the grave of a Companion who used to clean the Masjid when he heard that the former had died.

10. Be a Donor: Donate regularly to your Masjid, even if it is little and even if you donate in many other causes. This increases your love for Allah and for the house of Allah, and decreases love of this world. There is hardly any cause you will see the result of your donation more immediately than in your Masjid.

11. Be a Listener: On Friday, we listen to Khutbas (orations) and yet our life seems unaffected. This is so because listening and taking lessons is a skill to be learned and earned, as much as, if not more than, speaking and delivering lectures. Sometimes, a bad listener may get nothing out of a great speaker, and sometimes a good listener may benefit a lot from an unskillful speaker. So, be a good listener, for that is much more important and beneficial than being a good speaker. Your being a good speaker benefits others, while your being a good listener benefits you.

12. Be a Speaker: Last but not least, if you feel you have learned enough to share with others, and have good speaking skills, don’t hesitate to benefit others from your skills. Your Masjid always needs people who are skillful and confident in public speaking. While the Friday sermons require more training and knowledge, beginning with introductory speeches about Islam to non-Muslims, and talks at the study circles may be the right places for you to start.

SOURCE: http://www.islamiczone2.netfirms.com/Articles/Twelve%20ways%20to%20Get%20Active%20in%20your%20Local%20Masjid%20%28Mosque%29.htm

What went down at Sisters Chillin’4

What went down at Sisters Chillin’4

360 Muslimah” … building well rounded personalities

As Salam Alaykum to YOU!

Sisters Chillin’4 was a picnic event held at the Alausa green park, Lagos Nigeria. on the 29^th of May 2011; with mats laid out under a tree for sisters to chill out. Having in attendance about 60% first timers and lot of yummy delicacies; Our sister Adefolake Latifah Sadiq officially opened the event, by welcoming us and talking us through the program of the day. After which she called on one of our sisters in the person of Sis. Islamiyat Sanusi Anjola to give us an opening prayer. Then we all took turn to give a brief introduction of ourselves (name, what we do, marital status and our hobbies).

After which Sis. Biliqis Omolara Banjo (our able PRO + location manager lol) took over. She set the atmosphere rolling by reminding us what Sisters Chillin was about – {“A social event for Youthful Muslimahs (both covering and non covering), to meet, learn, share and have fun while directly tackling the social challenges faced by them in this modern age. We should also remember that despite the social distraction and barriers we face, Islam is a solace rather than hindrance to achieving our dreams.”} She also thanked everyone for coming and encouraged us to feel free to mingle and ask questions on issues we might be going through.

That set the stage for the next agenda which was the “One House Chat”. Directed by the founder of Sisters Chillin’ Ola Olabimpe Sanusi (aka Q. Latyfah); who gave a summary of what a 360 muslimah should be. {“To be 360 muslimah means – to be a well rounded person – to have an amiable personality, with aura of excellence, strong iman, good sense humour, creativity and intelligence. Being well rounded does not mean you will glitter with no faults. But one who is guided by Islam. One who fully understands her duties towards Allah(SWT), and towards herself, her parents, her husband and children, her relatives, her friends and sisters in Islam, and her society as a whole, with all the different types of people, events and transactions it includes.” }

While enjoying the continuous flow of yummy snacks, the “one- house chat” witnessed very interesting interactions; on internal issues (such as non covering sisters vs covering sisters) as well as external issues (society vs Muslims). We also had some sisters share deep and touching personal experiences and tips, on how they became stronger and better Muslims. The “one house chat” came to a close with a summary of the pointers mentioned, as Ola. Olabimpe reminded us that time is ticking.  So we should work towards improving our weaknesses, without giving EXCUSES! Some of the pointers given on being a 360 muslimah include:

• To learn and know about the deen
• Uphold honesty and integrity
• Be socially responsible
• Staying confident and focused
• To look good and stay healthy
• Striving to a person of value
• Not to be too timid or shy to do what Is right
• Know what we want and go for it (or get what you need to achieve it)
• To always strike a balance when it comes to defending the deen or your practice.
• Knowing your roles – as a woman,  muslimah, human(as sister mother and wife etc)
• Strive to be better muslims
• Stop giving excuses and start improving our deen

Afterwards, networking and more munching went on… then paused! As we took time out to observe salat together as usual … then we slip back to gisting and buying etc

Suddenly, our Gift ferries showed up to reward the 1^st ten guests for coming early, and a little “thank you for coming” gift everyone. Then we had the picture session…. the cake cutting …Wow it was really fun!.  Even at this point the food mat wasn’t empty yet… so the serviettes got busy and there goes the take-aways… (*laughs*)

To Allah’s glory; we have successful hosted 4 editions Sisters Chillin’ (SC) as a FREE event; 100% funded by donations gathered from well wishers.

Special Thanks to:

• Biliqikis Omolara banjo
• Shekena Atitebi
• Tola Ositade
• Olugbenga Fatima
• Rofiat Adebisi
• Balikis Sanusi
• Folake Latifah Sadiq
• Mariam Alonge
• Rashedah Arogundade

And to everyone who pray, and contributed one way or the other jazak-Allah- Khair!

Words from the founder:  “I know Allah won’t give me what I can’t handle… but I confess, my fear for a clear weather, enough food, and sisters actually having fun and learning… gave me sleepless night before the day. But it all melted and I laughed very hard at myself; as Allah reassured me He is The Greatest and ISLAM is the way, the truth and light. Alhamdulillah!! Seeing everyone mixing and having fun was really gratifying. More thanks to everyone who came, those who wanted to, those who contributed and prayed for the successful outing we had. I pray Allah will reward you all abundantly… and that this will continue to help our sisters grow socially and spiritually. Insha Allah we will be coming out with details of Sisters Chillin’ 5 soon”.

Ma Salam

Ola Olabimpe

PS: See pictures from the event – http://on.fb.me/kFKslm

The Lessons from Death

< I am one person that believes in living your life with the end in view. So this is a reminder to us . By the way are you following us on facebook? Visit our fanpages The timeless LIGHT and Sisters Chillin’  for daily tips and motivational updates. Thanks in advance>

Life slips away second by second. Are you aware that every day brings you closer to death or that death is as close to you as it is to other people?

As we are told in the verse “Every soul shall taste death in the end; to Us shall you be brought back.” (Surat al-‘Ankabut: 57) everyone who has ever appeared on this earth was destined to die. Without exception they all died, every one. Today, we hardly come across the traces of many of these people who passed away. Those currently living and those who will ever live will also face death on a predestined day. Despite this fact, people tend to see death as an unlikely incident.

Think of a baby who has just opened its eyes to the world and a man who is about to breathe his last. Both had no influence on their individual birth or death whatsoever. Only God possesses the power to inspire the breath of life or to take it away.

All human beings will live until a certain day and then die; God in the Qur’an gives an account of the attitude commonly shown towards death in the following verse:

Say: “The death from which you flee will truly overtake you: then you will be sent back to the Knower of things secret and open: and He will tell you (the truth of) the things that you did!” (Surat al-Jumu’ah: 8 )

The majority of people avoid thinking about death. In the rapid flow of daily events, a person usually occupies himself with totally different subjects: what college to enroll in, which company to work for, what color of clothing to wear next morning, what to cook for supper; these are the kinds of major issues that we usually consider. Life is perceived as a routine process of such minor matters. Attempts to talk about death are always interrupted by those who do not feel comfortable hearing about it. Assuming death will come only when one grows older, one does not want to concern himself with such an unpleasant subject. Yet it should be kept in mind that living for even one further hour is never guaranteed. Everyday, man witnesses the deaths of people around him but thinks little about the day when others will witness his own death. He never supposes that such an end is awaiting him!

Nevertheless, when death comes to man, all the “realities” of life suddenly vanish. No reminder of the “good old days” endures in this world. Think of everything that you are able to do right now: you can blink your eyes, move your body, speak, laugh; all these are functions of your body. Now think about the state and shape your body will assume after your death.

From the moment you breathe for the last time, you will become nothing but a “heap of flesh”. Your body, silent and motionless, will be carried to the morgue. There, it will be washed for the last time. Wrapped in a shroud, your corpse will be carried in a coffin to the graveyard. Once your remains are in the grave, soil will cover you. This is the end of your story. From now on, you are simply one of the names represented in the graveyard by a marble stone.

During the first months or years, your grave will be visited frequently. As time passes, fewer people will come. Decades later, there will be no-one.

Meanwhile, your immediate family members will experience a different aspect of your death. At home, your room and bed will be empty. After the funeral, little of what belongs to you will be kept at home: most of your clothes, shoes, etc, will be given to those who need them. Your file at the public registration office will be deleted or archived. During the first years, some will mourn for you. Yet, time will work against the memories you left behind. Four or five decades later, there will remain only a few who remember you. Before long, new generations will come and none of your generation will exist any longer on earth. Whether you are remembered or not will be worthless to you.

While all this is taking place in the world, the corpse under the soil will go through a rapid process of decay. Soon after you are placed in the grave, the bacteria and insects proliferating in the corpse due to the absence of oxygen will start to function. The gasses released from these organisms will inflate the body, starting from the abdomen, altering its shape and appearance. Bloody froth will pop out the mouth and nose due to the pressure of gasses on the diaphragm. As corruption proceeds, body hair, nails, soles, and palms will fall off. Accompanying this outer alteration in the body, internal organs such as lungs, heart and liver will also decay. In the meantime, the most horrible scene takes place in the abdomen, where the skin can no longer bear the pressure of gasses and suddenly bursts, spreading an unendurably disgusting smell. Starting from the skull, muscles will detach from their particular places. Skin and soft tissues will completely disintegrate. The brain will decay and start looking like clay. This process will go on until the whole body is reduced to a skeleton.

There is no chance of going back to the old life again. Gathering around the supper table with family members, socializing or to having an honorable job will never again be possible.

In short, the “heap of flesh and bones” to which we assign an identity faces a quite nasty end. On the other hand, you – or rather, your soul – will leave this body as soon as you breathe your last. The remainder of you – your body – will become part of the soil.

Yes, but what is the reason for all these things happening?

If God willed, the body would never have decayed in such a way. That it does so actually carries a very important inner message in itself.

The tremendous end awaiting man should make him acknowledge that he is not a body himself, but a soul “encased” within a body. In other words, man has to acknowledge that he has an existence beyond his body. Furthermore, man should understand the death of his body which he tries to possess as if he is to remain eternally in this temporal world. However this body, which he deems so important, will decay and become worm-eaten one day and finally be reduced to a skeleton. That day might be very soon.

Despite all these facts, man’s mental process is inclined to disregard what he does not like or want. He is even inclined to deny the existence of things he avoids confronting. This tendency seems to be most apparent when death is the issue. Only a funeral or the sudden death of an immediate family member brings this reality to mind. Almost everybody sees death far from himself. The assumption is that those who die while sleeping or in an accident are different people and what they face will never befall us! Everybody thinks it is too early to die and that there are always years ahead to live.

Yet most probably, people who die on the way to school or hurrying to attend a business meeting shared the same thought. They probably never thought that the next day’s newspapers would publish news of their deaths. It is entirely possible that, as you read these lines, you still do not expect to die soon after you have finished them or even entertain the possibility that it might happen. Probably you feel that it is too early to die because there are many things to accomplish. However, this is just an avoidance of death and these are only vain endeavors to escape it:

Say: “Running away will not profit you if you are running away from death or slaughter; and even if (you do escape), no more than a brief (respite) will you be allowed to enjoy!”(Surat al-Ahzab: 16)

Man who is created alone should be aware that he will also die alone. Yet during his life, he lives almost addicted to possessions. His sole purpose in life becomes to possess more. Yet, no-one can take his goods with him to the grave. The body is buried wrapped in a shroud made from the cheapest of fabrics. The body comes into this world alone and departs from it in the same way. The only asset one can take with him when one dies is one’s belief or disbelief.

SOURCE: http://ipaki.com/content/html/31/436.html