100 Premarital Questions

Ask Ask Ask Ask.. asking rare fails when it coming to knowing… Especially to those seeking for a spouse. You know marriage is a lifetime thing and you don’t want to be another statistic under divorce rate.

Also take notes if possible, of their answers so you can reflect on it later  and please don’t rush the questioning so you don’t bore the person you are asking.

Dont forget to ask Allah first!

Have fun !

ma salam

1. What is your concept of marriage?

2. Have you been married before?

3. Are you married now?

4. What are you expectations of marriage?

5. What are your goals in life? (long and short term)

6. Identify three things that you want to accomplish in the near

future.

7. Identify three things that you want to accomplish, long term.

8. Why have you chosen me/other person as a potential spouse?

9. What is the role of religion in your life now?

10. Are you a spiritual person?

11. What is your understanding of an Islamic marriage?

12. What are you expecting of your spouse, religiously?

13. What is your relationship between yourself and the Muslims

community in your area?

14. Are you volunteering in any Islamic activities?

15. What can you offer your zawj (spouse), spiritually?

16. What is the role of the husband?

17. What is the role of the wife?

18. Do you want to practice polygamy?

19. What is your relationship with your family?

20. What do you expect your relationship with the family of your

spouse to be?

21. What do you expect your spouses relationship with your family to

be?

22. Is there anyone in your family living with you now?

23. Are you planning to have anyone in your family live with you in

the future?

24. If, for any reason, my relationship with your family turns sour,

what should be done?

25. Who are your friends? (Identify at least three.)

26. How did you get to know them?

27. Why are they your friends?

28. What do you like most about them?

29. What will your relationship with them after marriage be?

30. Do you have friends of the opposite sex?

31. What is the level of your relationship with them now?

32. What will be the level of your relationship with them after

marriage?

33. What type of relationship do you want your spouse to have with

your friends?

34. What are the things that you do in your free time?

35. Do you love to have guests in your home for entertainment?

36. What are you expecting from your spouse when your friends come to

the house?

37. What is your opinion of speaking other languages in home that I do

not understand? (with friends or family)

38. Do you travel?

39. How do you spend your vacations?

40. How do you think your spouse should spend vacations?

41. Do you read?

42. What do you read?

43. After marriage, do you think that you are one to express romantic

feelings verbally?

44. After marriage, do you think that you want to express affection in

public?

45. How do you express your admiration for someone that you know now?

46. How do you express your feelings to someone who has done a favor

for you?

47. Do you like to write your feelings?

48. If you wrong someone, how do you apologize?

49. If someone has wronged you, how do you want (s)he to apologize to

you?

50. How much time passes before you can forgive someone?

51. How do you make important and less important decisions in your

life?

52. Do you use foul language at home? In public? With family?

53. Do your friends use foul language?

54. Does your family use foul language?

55. How do you express anger?

56. How do you expect your spouse to express anger?

57. What do you do when you are angry?

58. When do you think it is appropriate to initiate mediation in

marriage?

59. When there is a dispute in your marriage, religious or otherwise,

how should the conflict get resolved?

60. Define mental, verbal, emotional and physical abuse.

61. What would you do if you felt that you had been abused?

62. Who would you call for assistance if you were being abused?

63. Do you suffer from any chronic disease or condition?

64. Are you willing to take a physical exam by a physician before

marriage?

65. What is your understanding of proper health and nutrition?

66. How do you support your own health and nutrition?

67. What is you definition of wealth?

68. How do you spend money?

69. How do you save money?

70. How do you think that your use of money will change after

marriage?

71. Do you have any debts now? If so, how are you making progress to

eliminate them?

72. Do you use credit cards?

73. Do you support the idea of taking loans to buy a new home?

74. What are you expecting from your spouse financially?

75. What is your financial responsibility in the marriage?

76. Do you support the idea of a working wife?

77. If so, how do you think a dual-income family should manage funds?

78. Do you currently use a budget to manage your finances?

79. Who are the people to whom you are financially responsible?

80. Do you support the idea of utilizing baby sitters and/or maids?

81. Do you want to have children? If not, how come?

82. To the best of your understanding, are you able to have children?

83. Do you want to have children in the first two years of marriage?

If not, when?

84. Do you believe in abortion?

85. Do you have children now?

86. What is your relationship with your children now?

87. What is your relationship with their other parent?

88. What relationship do you expect your spouse to have with your

children and their parent?

89. What is the best method(s) of raising children?

90. What is the best method(s) of disciplining children?

91. How were you raised?

92. How were you disciplined?

93. Do you believe in spanking children? Under what circumstances?

94. Do you believe in public school for your children?

95. Do you believe in Islamic school for your children?

96. Do you believe in home schooling for your children?

97. What type of relationship should your children have with

non-Muslim classmates/friends?

98. Would you send your children to visit their extended family if

they lived in another state or country?

99. What type of relationship do you want your children to have with

all their grandparents?

100. If there are members of my family that are not Muslim, that are

of different race or culture, what type of relationship do you

want to have with them?

Source: http://www.jannah.org

You Ask, Quran Answer

<There will always be times in everyone life when deep questions comes to mind, when you look unto God for  divine answers. At times like this, it is time to turn to the quran . Start from anywhere by following your heart and insha Allah you will find answers. More so, if you spend time familiarizing yourself with the quran before such times, you will be consoled and know that Allah’s promise will never go unfulfilled. Hope you enjoy this piece! Peace!>

WHY I’M TESTED?

Quran said:

“What man is left to calculate that they only say;” We believe, “(” I am full of faith to God “) while they are not tested? We tested the salt before them, surely Allah knows those do-and-true, He knows those deceitful. ”

(Al-Ankabut verses 2-3)

WHY I CANNOT GET WHAT I WANT?

Quran said:

“It may be that you hate something when it is good for you, and can also be something you like, although it is bad for you, Allah knows and you do not know.”

(Surah Al-Baqarah verse 216)

WHY DO I TESTED WEIGHED THIS?

Quran said:

“Allah burdens not a person but to its capacity.”

(Surah Al-Baqarah verse 286)

WHY I FEEL FRUSTRATION?

Quran said:

“Do not be weak, nor grieve you, but ye who highest rank, if you say I believe.”

(Surah Al-Imran verse 139)

HOW DO I DEAL?

Quran said:

“Nay, seek (Allah’s) help with patient perseverance and prayer and truly it is hard, except to those who humble themselves”

(Surah Al-Baqarah verse: 45)

WHAT I GET FROM ALL THIS ?

Quran said:

“Allah has purchased of the believers, themselves, their wealth by giving them heaven ”

(Surah Al-Taubah verse: 111)

TO WHOM I HOPE?

Quran said:

“Enough is Allah for me, there is no god apart from Him. Only to Him I trust.”

(Surah Al-Taubah verse 129)

I CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE!

Quran said:

“… .. And do not despair of the mercy of God. There is no despair of the mercy of Allah save disbelieving folk.”

(Surah Yusuf verse 12)

SOURCE: http://adam-love-islam.blogspot.com

Fasting Ramadan ~ Doesn’t Hurt To Ask

{“Are those who have knowledge and those who have no knowledge alike? Only the men of understanding are mindful. ” (Quran, 39:9) Are you mindful? Read this sister’s experience on our she got relived by simply asking the right person the right question.}

Assalamu alaikum and Hello,

When Ramadan was approaching I mentally began to prepare myself and made the intention to try to benefit from this blessed month as much as possible. It never occurred to me that I would not be able to fast but as I thought about my supplement regimen, keeping up with the schedule seemed impossible.

During 6 pregnancies and nursing 6 children I have never missed fasting Ramadan. I was very sad about not being able to fast and of course I consoled myself by the knowledge that if I was ill I was allowed to abstain from fasting so reluctantly decided that I would try to benefit in other ways.

Problem was I did not feel sick and I did not consider myself to be ill. I had a diagnosis, the mass was removed and I am treating myself. Also, I could not reconcile the fact that although I taking medication, it is ultimately Allah who heals. Big dilemma for me as I want to do everything I can to be healthy but I felt that by not fasting I was giving the medications ability to heal precedence over my obligation as a Muslim to fast.

On Friday I called my Dr. and expressed my concern to him. He wanted to know why I assumed I could not fast? I told him that I am taking supplements 3 times a day and it would interfere with the fasting which is from sunrise to sunset. He told me “Take the first set when you break your fast, the second before going to sleep and the third when you wake-up before beginning your fast.” I said “Just that simple?” and he said, “Yes, it is just that simple.” I cried it was such a relief .

Immediately what came to mind is the Ayat in the Quran, which says: “Ask the People of Knowledge if you do not know.” [Soorah al-Anbiyaa 21:7]

Asking someone more knowledgeable than myself solved a huge problem. I can apply this lesson to many areas of my life. I am doing well with the fasting. Actually, I feel fantastic, alhamdullilah. I know my case is individual to me in regards to fasting but I just wanted to share my story in the hopes that if anyone out there is grappling with a difficult situation it can be of great benefit to just ask.

Ramadan Mubarak,

Carole

SOURCE: community.breastcancer.org